Losing Libby

So I joined weight watchers last week, and I am not so happy to report that I must be the only person on the planet that actually gained weight the first week!!   No shit I actually gained two lbs following the Points + system! The woman who weighed me in was wonderfully supportive.  She said sometimes the body goes into a bit of shock when we change our habits.  Hilarious.  I have not given up the fight though people!  Tomorrow we will walk!  We will track!  We will persevere! Or at least we shall try. In other news, I am beginning to feel a bit more human like.  Emotionally, I am feeling much much better since I went back to see my previous therapist.  I am going to constantly be a work in progress, but I truly must start believing that I am not a failure.  Even though I obviously failed at weight watchers my first week

I am so full I may die.  No seriously.  I ate so much, and I knew it as I was SHOVELING it into my mouth.  My problem with food lies in portion control, or lack there of.  I know I know, but LIBBY you have NO GUTS?!?!  Didn’t they like, staple yer stomach?!  Didn’t you have that SURGERY AND TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT?! Ya.  I did.  No.  It was not easy.  No it still isn’t easy and it’s going to be three years in July… *le sigh*  It is still tough to know when to stop.  Food is a necessity, yet it is completely a gate way drug to happiness!  I love to cook.  I love to eat!  I love to entertain!  If only I could get paid to be Martha Stewart Jr. and like, do all this for others, and build a media empire! (A girl can dream). Food is going to be an ongoing battle.  We need it to survive.  The difference will be in realizing that just because it is sitting on my plate, doesn’t mean I have to eat it all...

I weighed myself yesterday.  I weigh three lbs more than I did when I got pregnant.  NOT TOO SHABBY! So I’m about to post it for the world to see:   258 lbs.    Man that was rough.  I think it takes some serious balls to post my actual weight, but ya know what, I HOPE it’ll make me more accountable.  Tuesday I am joining Weight Watchers.  I lost 140+ lbs with gastric bypass.  (You can do the math)  It still isn’t enough.  I would love to be down to 200lbs by Ian’s first birthday.  That would be about 11.6 lbs a month.  I believe with the accountability factor of going to weigh in every week, along with actually using the tool I was given back in 2009 (properly), I should be successful.  There is no reason or excuse to fail, other than myself.  This next chapter in the life of Libby is all about holding myself accountable.  For my weight, behavior, eating, actions, and much to my dismay, my emoti...

I have not blogged since June, before my munchkin was born. I have been struggling. I have been happy, sad, and everything in between. I constantly feel in limbo, not only about motherhood, but just life in general. I am going to be the first to admit that I definitely let my health and weight loss goals go to complete shit after I had this guy: He is perfect. His mother, though, is not. A few of my friends have starting blogging. Some about weight loss, mommy-hood, couponing, you name it. They all inspired me to start writing in this again. I was going to start a new blog, but then I thought ya know what, I'm still me. Deep down in this dark hole I have created, the old me is there. The person I once was. I hope you'll bear with me on this journey to find happiness and health again. I know it's there. March 1, 2012 Weight: too fricken scary to even get on scale, maybe tomorrow. Mood: Mediocre to Blah Day: Typical - nothing bad or good to report