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Slacker Blogger

Anywho - I'm back. Sorry for the lack of posts the past few days...I went to Dunkirk Tuesday and then Rochester Wednesday for a few hours, and man, was I tired.

I have to give myself a little slack, as I just had surgery three weeks ago, and am still recovering. Walking around for more than 45 minutes is a little tiresome, but I am getting better I think.

My body is definitely changing, while unfortunately, the number on the scale is not. I am at a bit of a stall, and was actually encouraged from my online buddies to up my calories. I was averaging about 500-600 calories, and yesterday I had about 850. I am hoping that my body will get out of starvation mode, and get back into losing mode. I am going to take a walk today also, as it is one of the few nice days apparently that WNY is having. Hooray!

Next weekend we are traveling off to my future in-laws! I am excited and hope that "pouchy" behaves herself. I would like to go into NYC, and hope that my legs and my pouch allow me to do that. I don't know how much vacation time I am going to have around Christmas and Thanksgiving, so I figure we should go together now. Not a bad way to spend your "disability" time right? :)

Today I started the day of with a no sugar added carnation instant breakfast. It doesn't have as much protein as the bariatric fusion, but it is a lot "thinner" then the thick shakes. It actually tastes pretty good too. For lunch I will probably have some of the white chicken chili from the Cheesecake Factory, and dinner, I may actually cook for JMac and I! (what?!). Probably this Poblano and Onion Chicken Burger (sans bun for me) and some oven fries.

That being said, I better get my butt moving. Thanks for reading ya'll


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The ugly truth

The truth is...I'm in recovery. The other truth is emotionally, I'm a disaster.

I haven't written in here because the truth is, losing libby was originally about weight loss surgery and how much weight I've weight I lost. In the past few months, more emotionally damning crap has happened to me, my family, my parent(s), my brother, and many people in my ever shrinking circle.

I am an addict.
I am well educated.
I live in the suburbs.
I have a child.
I have serious mental health issues.

I tell you all of the ugly in an attempt to hold myself accountable for the things I have done, the things I have put my family through, and most important...what I have done to myself.

If you would have told me five years ago or so that I would be unemployed, filing for disability, and doing medication assisted treatment for addiction...I would have laughed in your face and said you were crazy.

The truth is, like many other Americans, I'm not the only one.

How did this…

the report is in

I had my six week check up yesterday, and everything looks good he said. The incision pain is best case, a small tear where the sewed me back up, the worst case, a hernia. He said it is too soon to tell, and chances are that it will just heal up on its own in about a month. I am down 32 lbs since surgery, for a grand total of 54 lbs. DA-UHM! I am feeling pretty good of course, just this occasional pain BLOWS.

In other news, I have to go back to work on Wednesday. Blargh! I am pretty much not looking forward to this, but alas, time to go back to working for the man. I wonder how much has changed? Should be entertaining no doubt.

My beautiful friend Jenn is getting married tomorrow, so I better straighten my 'fro out and get moving, cuz I am the official page turner for the pianist. Later kids ;)

Much a blog about nothing…

So I haven’t written in a while.  Losing Libby hasn’t lost in about a year now.  Haven’t really gained either, but regardless, life definitely happened.  I recently watched the beautiful Eggy on the Ricki Lake Show.  She embodies what most of us feel post gastric bypass.  That there is still this obese person even if your not as obese as you once were.  It was a good wake up call to me, proving that my job of losing weight is not over, nor will it ever be probably. I’m getting older and I can feel it.  I feel old sometimes.  Kind of like, who is this 75 year old woman kind of old.  I need to move my ass more.  So the next phase of Losing Libby is going to be about losing my bad attitude about exercise.  God help me.