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Slacker Blogger

Anywho - I'm back. Sorry for the lack of posts the past few days...I went to Dunkirk Tuesday and then Rochester Wednesday for a few hours, and man, was I tired.

I have to give myself a little slack, as I just had surgery three weeks ago, and am still recovering. Walking around for more than 45 minutes is a little tiresome, but I am getting better I think.

My body is definitely changing, while unfortunately, the number on the scale is not. I am at a bit of a stall, and was actually encouraged from my online buddies to up my calories. I was averaging about 500-600 calories, and yesterday I had about 850. I am hoping that my body will get out of starvation mode, and get back into losing mode. I am going to take a walk today also, as it is one of the few nice days apparently that WNY is having. Hooray!

Next weekend we are traveling off to my future in-laws! I am excited and hope that "pouchy" behaves herself. I would like to go into NYC, and hope that my legs and my pouch allow me to do that. I don't know how much vacation time I am going to have around Christmas and Thanksgiving, so I figure we should go together now. Not a bad way to spend your "disability" time right? :)

Today I started the day of with a no sugar added carnation instant breakfast. It doesn't have as much protein as the bariatric fusion, but it is a lot "thinner" then the thick shakes. It actually tastes pretty good too. For lunch I will probably have some of the white chicken chili from the Cheesecake Factory, and dinner, I may actually cook for JMac and I! (what?!). Probably this Poblano and Onion Chicken Burger (sans bun for me) and some oven fries.

That being said, I better get my butt moving. Thanks for reading ya'll


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The ugly truth

The truth is...I'm in recovery. The other truth is emotionally, I'm a disaster.

I haven't written in here because the truth is, losing libby was originally about weight loss surgery and how much weight I've weight I lost. In the past few months, more emotionally damning crap has happened to me, my family, my parent(s), my brother, and many people in my ever shrinking circle.

I am an addict.
I am well educated.
I live in the suburbs.
I have a child.
I have serious mental health issues.

I tell you all of the ugly in an attempt to hold myself accountable for the things I have done, the things I have put my family through, and most important...what I have done to myself.

If you would have told me five years ago or so that I would be unemployed, filing for disability, and doing medication assisted treatment for addiction...I would have laughed in your face and said you were crazy.

The truth is, like many other Americans, I'm not the only one.

How did this…

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So I haven’t written in a while.  Losing Libby hasn’t lost in about a year now.  Haven’t really gained either, but regardless, life definitely happened.  I recently watched the beautiful Eggy on the Ricki Lake Show.  She embodies what most of us feel post gastric bypass.  That there is still this obese person even if your not as obese as you once were.  It was a good wake up call to me, proving that my job of losing weight is not over, nor will it ever be probably. I’m getting older and I can feel it.  I feel old sometimes.  Kind of like, who is this 75 year old woman kind of old.  I need to move my ass more.  So the next phase of Losing Libby is going to be about losing my bad attitude about exercise.  God help me.
Hello my friends now from the other side. The sober side that is... This is going to be long. And in parts so I apologize now but I think it's important to get the whole story. I had wls in July 2009. My highest weight was 398 lbs and I remember praying that I wouldn't go over 400... That or maybe my scale didn't. Either way I could not see a 4. Or regardless of a moderately successful career, higher education, and steady boyfriend (now husband) I would have rather killed myself. Looking back at that statement I should have known then that troubles lie ahead. I weighed 180 lbs when I graduated from high school in 2000. I was well liked. Fairly smart. I was actually the fricken homecoming queen and not out of sympathy BC I was the fat girl that got picked on as a kid, but truly bc I was popular and well liked. To this day the hometown still likes me... But truth be told I never liked me. I went away to college and ate. A lot. I was introduced to Wegmans Pittsford. The …