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Lazy Sunday

Today turned out to be a beautiful day, and this weekend was perfect.

Friday we went out to a delicious dinner. We went to a "seafood house", where I ordered the broiled seafood platter. Of course, it was huge, but I wanted to try a little of each part of it. It came with broiled haddock, scallops and shrimp. The sides were salt potatoes and coleslaw. My favorite part of it were the scallops and the haddock...they were so soft and tender. God it was good. The best part, was that I finally felt NORMAL again, that I could go out to dinner with my boyfriend, and eat! Grant it, not a lot, but it was perfect. I felt good...everything has been settling nicely in pouchy when it comes to food.
After that we decided to head out to a coffee house to hear some music, and explore a bit. The music was so so, but I was happy to see they had an array of sugar free syrups. I ordered a nonfat sugar free chocolate raspberry latte. I did FAIL when I forgot to order decaf. Needless to say I survived, but I only drank about 1/4 of it. I felt satisfied, but more importantly, happy. Happy not from the food, but from being able to go on a date again!

Saturday turned out to be pretty random as well. I decided to make dinner, consisting of grilled chicken tenders, wegmans delicious baked potato salad, and corn on the cob. I ate 1 tender, with hot sauce and my home made greek yogurt blue cheese (twas good!), about 2 tbs. of the potato salad, and with the assistance of my new handy dandy corn zipper, 1/2 a zip of corn (the nerve!). Needless to say, I didn't die from the corn. We tried to eat outside, but there were two fricken bees bombarding us!

Then we sat around for a bit, I had a schwans healthy creation bar, and relaxed. Then I forced Jay to go to see the legendary Lance Diamond at a bar in Buffalo. I ordered up my delicious bottled water and added in my own crystal light. It felt nice to be out, and I was out till 3 a.m.! Whoa!

We went to Elmwood Taco and Sub after the bar was starting to get filled up with sketch balls, and I ate about 4 tbs. of the inside of a beef and refried black bean burrito. It was kind of hilarious to be eating that late and post RNY, but it was normal. I ate basically the cheese and meat/bean stuff, a slice of tomato (what?!) and a very very very little bit of lettuce. Oh and a couple bits of the shell. It was so normal.

My point of posting all this nonsense, is that eventually, you feel normal again. You start to feel like a twenty something that can go out, drink (water for now :)), and enjoy late nite food in your town. Did I eat even HALF of what I ordered, heck no, but was I happy that I could at least partake in the party, heck yes.

I am four weeks out this week. I am feeling great, and I am going to start exercising tomorrow. Here's to chapter two of this adventure...


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The ugly truth

The truth is...I'm in recovery. The other truth is emotionally, I'm a disaster.

I haven't written in here because the truth is, losing libby was originally about weight loss surgery and how much weight I've weight I lost. In the past few months, more emotionally damning crap has happened to me, my family, my parent(s), my brother, and many people in my ever shrinking circle.

I am an addict.
I am well educated.
I live in the suburbs.
I have a child.
I have serious mental health issues.

I tell you all of the ugly in an attempt to hold myself accountable for the things I have done, the things I have put my family through, and most important...what I have done to myself.

If you would have told me five years ago or so that I would be unemployed, filing for disability, and doing medication assisted treatment for addiction...I would have laughed in your face and said you were crazy.

The truth is, like many other Americans, I'm not the only one.

How did this…

the report is in

I had my six week check up yesterday, and everything looks good he said. The incision pain is best case, a small tear where the sewed me back up, the worst case, a hernia. He said it is too soon to tell, and chances are that it will just heal up on its own in about a month. I am down 32 lbs since surgery, for a grand total of 54 lbs. DA-UHM! I am feeling pretty good of course, just this occasional pain BLOWS.

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My beautiful friend Jenn is getting married tomorrow, so I better straighten my 'fro out and get moving, cuz I am the official page turner for the pianist. Later kids ;)

Much a blog about nothing…

So I haven’t written in a while.  Losing Libby hasn’t lost in about a year now.  Haven’t really gained either, but regardless, life definitely happened.  I recently watched the beautiful Eggy on the Ricki Lake Show.  She embodies what most of us feel post gastric bypass.  That there is still this obese person even if your not as obese as you once were.  It was a good wake up call to me, proving that my job of losing weight is not over, nor will it ever be probably. I’m getting older and I can feel it.  I feel old sometimes.  Kind of like, who is this 75 year old woman kind of old.  I need to move my ass more.  So the next phase of Losing Libby is going to be about losing my bad attitude about exercise.  God help me.