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Survey Says!

So long time no blog! Dang I am busy! I started working full time again, and I am going to school part time. I am driving twice a week to Rochester (about an hour and a half from where I work) and then 3 hours of class, then an hour back home! Gahhhh. Very very very tired. Very very stressed!

While I was driving home Tuesday, after a particularly stressful day, I realized that I definitely turned to food to relieve stress. The good/bad part is that when you physically can not eat (because your stomach is the size of a walnut (or more), you can't resort back to those habits. You need to actually use some good coping skills. Shit.

I loved food. I still do love food. It's satisfying, it's comforting, and pleasurable. When you feel like crap, food can make you feel better. When you are sad, it can make it go away (for a bit), its a vicious cycle, and I can see how people can get a bit obsessive about food.

How did I deal with said stressful day? I resorted back to my old friend music. I used to blog a lot about music, and particular lyrics that stood out to me, etc...I haven't been too impressed by new music, nothing really deep or satisfying to me. Finally I stumbled upon the new Ingrid Michaelson album. I love it. It is passionate, deep, and satisfying to my soul. I highly recommend the song Are We There Yet? It really resonated with me.

And now...a tale from the scale. I am down a total of 24(!) inches since July 7. I am also down 67lbs (!) I am almost to the point where I may actually tell you people how much I weigh! I feel great, minus being all tired and moderately cranky!

Thanks for reading...more soon I hope :)


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The ugly truth

The truth is...I'm in recovery. The other truth is emotionally, I'm a disaster.

I haven't written in here because the truth is, losing libby was originally about weight loss surgery and how much weight I've weight I lost. In the past few months, more emotionally damning crap has happened to me, my family, my parent(s), my brother, and many people in my ever shrinking circle.

I am an addict.
I am well educated.
I live in the suburbs.
I have a child.
I have serious mental health issues.

I tell you all of the ugly in an attempt to hold myself accountable for the things I have done, the things I have put my family through, and most important...what I have done to myself.

If you would have told me five years ago or so that I would be unemployed, filing for disability, and doing medication assisted treatment for addiction...I would have laughed in your face and said you were crazy.

The truth is, like many other Americans, I'm not the only one.

How did this…

the report is in

I had my six week check up yesterday, and everything looks good he said. The incision pain is best case, a small tear where the sewed me back up, the worst case, a hernia. He said it is too soon to tell, and chances are that it will just heal up on its own in about a month. I am down 32 lbs since surgery, for a grand total of 54 lbs. DA-UHM! I am feeling pretty good of course, just this occasional pain BLOWS.

In other news, I have to go back to work on Wednesday. Blargh! I am pretty much not looking forward to this, but alas, time to go back to working for the man. I wonder how much has changed? Should be entertaining no doubt.

My beautiful friend Jenn is getting married tomorrow, so I better straighten my 'fro out and get moving, cuz I am the official page turner for the pianist. Later kids ;)

Much a blog about nothing…

So I haven’t written in a while.  Losing Libby hasn’t lost in about a year now.  Haven’t really gained either, but regardless, life definitely happened.  I recently watched the beautiful Eggy on the Ricki Lake Show.  She embodies what most of us feel post gastric bypass.  That there is still this obese person even if your not as obese as you once were.  It was a good wake up call to me, proving that my job of losing weight is not over, nor will it ever be probably. I’m getting older and I can feel it.  I feel old sometimes.  Kind of like, who is this 75 year old woman kind of old.  I need to move my ass more.  So the next phase of Losing Libby is going to be about losing my bad attitude about exercise.  God help me.