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quick update

I have been having some crazy pain in my upper abdomen.  I was in the ER on Sunday morning, had a CT Scan, left there with some drugs and a diagnosis of stomach flu (?).   Called the surgeons office, no one said a word.  Monday went by just fine, was feeling a lot better!  Tuesday rolls in and I start feeling pretty crappy.  I go to work , and then it gets bad.  Real real bad.  I go back to the ER, but not before I call the surgeons office again.  The gal on the phone says, oh Dr. P says that you might have a small hernia going on, and that if it gets worse to go back to the ER.  I go back, the ER doc runs a few more tests (he was great!) and orders an ultra sound of my gallbladder, kidney, liver, spleen, etc…Guess who has A LOT of gallstones and sludge working?  Oh that’d be me.  Why they didn’t do that scan on Sunday is beyond me.  So first I go from having a hernia repair to about to have emergency gallbladder removal!

I am stubborn and was like, oh no you can’t admit me!  I have stuff to do before I have to come into the hospital, etc.  So I convinced them that I would come back Thursday (pending Dr. P’s schedule) and get it out.  I promise.

So if you don’t hear from me for a while – I’ll be back gallbladder-less! 

Dear 2010, stop being sucky. <3 me.


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The ugly truth

The truth is...I'm in recovery. The other truth is emotionally, I'm a disaster.

I haven't written in here because the truth is, losing libby was originally about weight loss surgery and how much weight I've weight I lost. In the past few months, more emotionally damning crap has happened to me, my family, my parent(s), my brother, and many people in my ever shrinking circle.

I am an addict.
I am well educated.
I live in the suburbs.
I have a child.
I have serious mental health issues.

I tell you all of the ugly in an attempt to hold myself accountable for the things I have done, the things I have put my family through, and most important...what I have done to myself.

If you would have told me five years ago or so that I would be unemployed, filing for disability, and doing medication assisted treatment for addiction...I would have laughed in your face and said you were crazy.

The truth is, like many other Americans, I'm not the only one.

How did this…

the report is in

I had my six week check up yesterday, and everything looks good he said. The incision pain is best case, a small tear where the sewed me back up, the worst case, a hernia. He said it is too soon to tell, and chances are that it will just heal up on its own in about a month. I am down 32 lbs since surgery, for a grand total of 54 lbs. DA-UHM! I am feeling pretty good of course, just this occasional pain BLOWS.

In other news, I have to go back to work on Wednesday. Blargh! I am pretty much not looking forward to this, but alas, time to go back to working for the man. I wonder how much has changed? Should be entertaining no doubt.

My beautiful friend Jenn is getting married tomorrow, so I better straighten my 'fro out and get moving, cuz I am the official page turner for the pianist. Later kids ;)

Much a blog about nothing…

So I haven’t written in a while.  Losing Libby hasn’t lost in about a year now.  Haven’t really gained either, but regardless, life definitely happened.  I recently watched the beautiful Eggy on the Ricki Lake Show.  She embodies what most of us feel post gastric bypass.  That there is still this obese person even if your not as obese as you once were.  It was a good wake up call to me, proving that my job of losing weight is not over, nor will it ever be probably. I’m getting older and I can feel it.  I feel old sometimes.  Kind of like, who is this 75 year old woman kind of old.  I need to move my ass more.  So the next phase of Losing Libby is going to be about losing my bad attitude about exercise.  God help me.