Losing Libby

The truth is...I'm in recovery. The other truth is emotionally, I'm a disaster. I haven't written in here because the truth is, losing libby was originally about weight loss surgery and how much weight I've weight I lost. In the past few months, more emotionally damning crap has happened to me, my family, my parent(s), my brother, and many people in my ever shrinking circle. I am an addict. I am well educated. I live in the suburbs. I have a child. I have serious mental health issues. I tell you all of the ugly in an attempt to hold myself accountable for the things I have done, the things I have put my family through, and most important...what I have done to myself. If you would have told me five years ago or so that I would be unemployed, filing for disability, and doing medication assisted treatment for addiction...I would have laughed in your face and said you were crazy. The truth is, like many other Americans, I'm not the only one. How d...

Hello my friends now from the other side. The sober side that is... This is going to be long. And in parts so I apologize now but I think it's important to get the whole story. I had wls in July 2009. My highest weight was 398 lbs and I remember praying that I wouldn't go over 400... That or maybe my scale didn't. Either way I could not see a 4. Or regardless of a moderately successful career, higher education, and steady boyfriend (now husband) I would have rather killed myself. Looking back at that statement I should have known then that troubles lie ahead. I weighed 180 lbs when I graduated from high school in 2000. I was well liked. Fairly smart. I was actually the fricken homecoming queen and not out of sympathy BC I was the fat girl that got picked on as a kid, but truly bc I was popular and well liked. To this day the hometown still likes me... But truth be told I never liked me. I went away to college and ate. A lot. I was introduced to Wegmans Pittsford. The m...

The disappearing blogger is about to go where some WLS patients have gone before. MOTHERHOOD. Holy shit people, I'm having a baby! The nugget will be making his or her debut on July 23. I will post some pictures once I edit them. I have been feeling a little on the nutty side lately. The past few months have been a battle of hormones and overall unpleasantness. I'm really not sure why, other than, one of the things that happens when you are almost 2 years out, is your tool sometimes escapes you. Meaning one day, it is super easy to eat...a lot. I find myself using pregnancy and the hormones as an excuse to eat eat eat. I have gained 4 lbs so far, and I find this pretty much unacceptable! When I went to my OB doc, she expressed a very good understanding of the gastric bypass patient, stating that it takes 300 extra calories a day to make a baby. Therefore, I shouldn't worry too much about weight gain, especially since I am still, overweight. I took that apparentl...